I always LOVE looking at all those awesome before and after pictures and reading the success stories that go with them. Typically they’re written/posted/published/praised at that moment in time when the success happens. What about the journey? The story published with the moment of success may hint at the battles, but glosses over all the hard stuff in the middle. So I thought I’m going to share the day in and day out grind of this. All the battles. The many times when I don’t want to eat right. The times when I’d rather veg out than go to the gym. The times I want that big fat juicy cheeseburger and pickle fries with ranch on the side. The times when the scale doesn’t show the hard work. So here I am sharing it, if for nothing else so I can read this and remember the journey.
‘The Beginning’ of my battle with weight and unhealthy habits started almost 30 years ago, and honestly probably since I was much younger. My metabolism started losing the battle right after I graduated high school (almost 30 years ago….sigh). I worked a full-time job and went to college full-time. My days would start at 6:30am and when I finally got home at 10:30pm I would order a pizza or pick up fast food to devour it before I crashed and then start all over again in the morning. I probably don’t need to tell you how that turned out.
In ‘The Middle’ I was married, had two boys, got a Bachelor’s degree, then a Masters, worked hard for promotions, volunteered, ran a business while working my corporate job and did everything but take care of myself. Sometime in there I started to realize I needed to lead a healthier life, but I was in a relationship with someone that could eat, drink, be merry and Never (I mean Never) needed to be active and was still thin. I got gym memberships, used the treadmill and maybe got brave and hopped on a weight machine when no one was looking. I had NO CLUE what I was doing. I would workout (and I use that term loosely) a couple times a week, but never gain ground because my eating habits didn’t change. I felt better, but didn’t See results so I’d eventually decide I was too busy to keep it up. If I couldn’t be healthy and happy with my body, I would be happy with my mind and efforts in other areas of my life. Ultimately trying to over compensate for the weight with brains.
During my ‘Starting Over’ period I got divorced and started working on me. That was four and a half years ago. I found Weight Watchers and that helped a lot. I dropped 20lbs several times by tracking my food. Sometimes I would gain it all back, sometimes just 10lbs, at least once more than 20lbs. I would describe my gym habits as ‘meh’ and when I look back I now know I wasn’t doing what I should. But at least this time I saw results, and got a glimpse that I wasn’t too old to have hope. But as always I had my hands full with figuring out how to handle everything on my own and do some true adulting. Sooooo needless to say there was again a period where I deemed myself ‘just too busy’.
Fast forward to ‘The Now’ and THIS IS WHERE MY STORY BEGINS……… While I was ‘just too busy’ during Starting Over, I did begin a journey to improve in knowledge and spirit. I learned how to make the most of my time by listening to Podcasts and audiobooks. This has been key in putting me where I am. This is part of getting my mind right. I spend a lot of time listening to information about how to self improve and the value of self care, and guess what…it kinda works.
One of the things that helped me make a real change is the opening of a new gym in my tiny little town out here in the heartland. The gym I was a member of and never making it to was 20 miles away (25 minutes because that’s how we measure distance here) and the distance/time was a constant excuse for me. One day in December I saw their signs ‘coming soon’ and thought hmmmm that’s interesting. I filled out the want more info section on the website and when the day came to meet him and get signed up I was so sick I wanted to cancel, but I drug my coughing carcass to the meeting to hear the sales pitch. For some reason I stopped him before he really started, maybe the cold had gone to my head, but I knew it didn’t matter how much or all the wonderful equipment and reasons why this gym was the bomb it was where I was supposed to be. Unfortunately I stayed sick so it took me almost a month and several doctor visits to get started. But I did start and that’s the important part.
Then these crazy people at the gym said ‘Hey do you want to try working with a personal trainer?’. Ummmmm…..have you seen me? During this particular sales pitch he asks me what my goals are in each area of my body. Awkward. I didn’t have a clue what a reasonable or stretch goal should even be. When he got to abs I said ‘sure I’d like to have an ab’. Wish I could share the look on his face. Of course the first session was free and something in me knew that I needed this, I was still in treadmill/weight machine mode and going nowhere fast so why not try it. I would honest to God leave the gym without ever sweating! I kept telling myself it was ok this was just a quirk of being me, it’s like a special gift. It wasn’t, I know now I am totally capable of sweating and do it on the regular.
Daring To Do This 