‘The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man’s observations, not overturning it.’ ~Edward G Bulwer-Lyton
The other night I went to dinner with some of the girls. One of my friends (we’ll can her Uno) has been dieting and when I asked how much weight she’s lost Uno told me 40 pounds. FORTY POUNDS! Of course I’m dying to know the secret!!! Who wouldn’t? Uno said she’s drinking a shake in the morning, salad at lunch, whatever she wants for dinner and walking a mile a day. She also cut out pop completely and cut the sweets back.
We moved onto other topics, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Can I duplicate Uno’s success? Did she find the secret I’m looking for? She has always been much better at controlling the food than I have. We’ve known each other for over 20 years and I’ve seen her diet before completely sticking to whatever the food plan is. Uno is a beast at willpower when I would instantly be thinking about modifying any diet and trying to find loop holes. I’ve spent weeks looking at different diets trying to figure out what is a good long term way of eating for me. Maybe it’s the shakes or supplements that I’ve been avoiding that are the key. I am in the process of trying the shakes, and I did eat a salad at lunch today. I doubt I can do that every day, I think salad is an acquired taste that I never acquired.
After coming home that night I got a message from one of my best friends (we’ll call her Dueces) to let me know she was in the hospital. She had some pains in her arm and shoulder earlier, but they are keeping her for ‘an unrelated heart issue’. I instantly call Bullshit!!! She had a heart attack and I knew it, but I played along with her denial and told her I’d be there the next day. When I stopped by to visit idle chit chat finally broke way to the HUGE RED ELEPHANT in the room and she ran through her numbers with me. The writing was on the wall and she admitted it was a heart attack……..at 41 years old. The only thing she didn’t know was how bad.
When Dueces had the procedure we found out just how bad. SERIOUSLY BAD, definitely life threatening, like a heart attack isn’t anyway. The future is a Vegetarian diet, several new prescriptions and some new internal hardware to help things flow. I asked Dueces if she saw any signs that she overlooked or wrote off and she says No. How does this happen? I’m torn between heartbreak, worry and confusion. It has certainly fueled my determination to get healthy and do all I can to support her to do the same. She doesn’t know it but I’m looking up recipes for her and designing a mini exercise plan. She’s going to love it! (typed with serious sarcasm)
Later in the weekend I was discussing all of this heart attack business with another friend (we’ll name this one Triple). Triple and I have struggled and are working to drop the weight and get healthy. We talked about all the times in the past people have tried to give us hints or maybe come straight out and tell us how unhealthy we were. We remembered the pain of hearing that information from someone. Should we be doing it to others when we see signs of bad habits that could lead to serious health risks? How do you have that conversation?
I confessed to Triple that I never would have suspected it in Dueces. She and I had many conversations about self care, eating better, doing some sort of exercise even if you’re having physical limitations. What we didn’t discuss is the effect of stress on our bodies. Both Dueces and I carry heavy loads in our work life, but we really just expect it of ourselves. Push through, carry on, girl power til the end and all that jazz. We’ve even recognized it to a degree in our self care discussions, but never really stop. FOOLS! This week I committed to myself to be out of work by 5pm and get to the gym a minimum to three times. So far so good. Dueces is home and I’m nagging her several times a day about food and stress.
Take a little from all the conversations you have, they all have a seed of perspective and you have room to grow.
Daring To Do This 