It’s time to admit my eating is getting out of control. Hopefully this public announcement can help me own up to it and get it under control before it gets worse. The scale has been moving in the wrong direction for a long time. I was definitely in denial and frustrated about how that could possibly be, but someone called me out on it and after a few weeks of being shocked they would say such a thing (the truth), I started looking at it with fresh eyes.
Also, this week was a serious wakeup call! I noticed I truly have no self control about food. A coworker has been sweetening us up with Cowtails, a yummy little stick of candy goodness. He’s bringing in a handful every day and I am unfortunately his first stop. If he gives me 3, I eat 3. If he gives me 1, I wish I had 5. Mindlessly eating them one bite immediately after swallowing the last. One day I noticed there was one left in the shared treat basket and I snatched it up like a starving bear. I have no idea why I can’t keep them out of my mouth if they’re around. At one point I thought if I just eat them all then I can be done with this. But everyday more show up and it will always be something. This really isn’t about the Coattails, it is about me. Last week it was birthday treats. And on any given day it could be bagels, donuts, pizza, chips or any other treat someone wants to share. I used to be able to say no, but not lately.
At dinner with the girls I couldn’t stop eating the chips, salsa and queso. I am sure I ate as much as my friends combined. When my dinner came I was stuffed halfway through. Did I stop? NO WAY, it’s Mexican food, one of my favorites! I slowed my pace so I could finish. And as sick as I felt I still had a hard time resisting the chips and salsa that was left. I felt so awful afterwards both physically and mentally. That is when I recognized I was out of control again. It took a massive stomach ache to wake me up.
I have no idea what is triggering it. At the same time I have been mindlessly eating I have also been stepping up my workouts. This is probably the only reason I gained 3 pounds instead of 10. I have been focused on variety in the workouts and creating a clear plan to get in more cardio.
Is it stress eating? Emotional eating? Boredom? Self sabotage? Honestly, it could be any of those. I’m grateful I recognized it and I’m aware. For me awareness is half the battle. Having a strategy to fix it is the other half. So what is the strategy? For now I’m going to try the same strategy I do with the workouts……PLANNING. I need to have dinners planned and prepped. Healthy options to keep me from straying when my days get chaotic. I am going to do what I can to control my environment at home and work by having healthy options at my fingertips. I have also found that tracking with good old pen and paper is very helpful. It makes me be true to myself about what I’ve ate and opens my eyes to the not so great choices.
Any other suggestions are welcome. I’m feeling my way through this and figuring out as I go how to correct a lifetime of bad habits and self defeating thought processes.
Daring To Do This 