Tonight I went to the gym to do cardio. I was looking a little rough. Ponytail (not the cute kind), half on makeup, and resting bitch face because I had a lot on my mind. It was work out time, not night out time and I was only there to impress my Fitbit. While I was on the treadmill doing that long steady walk and listening to a book I was people watching. A girl came in and started for the treadmill. Shorts on, a much cuter ponytail than mine and a serious face, but not the scare people away kind that I had. I instantly judged her decision to wear the shorts. And just as quickly yelled at myself because there was no reason she shouldn’t.
After the gym I had to stop at Walmart. Still looking pretty rough, but I needed the yogurt and hard boiled eggs. I knew this was the plan and had accepted the consequences before I left the house earlier. When you live in a small town you know it is VERY likely you’ll see someone you know when you get groceries. Tonight I saw at least 10, including someone I only see every couple of years. This person said ‘I almost didn’t recognize you’ to which I replied ‘that’s because I just came from the gym’. I almost felt like I should apologize.
I spent the entire trip thinking how awful I looked and that I shouldn’t do this again, that I need to be sure I look presentable when I go out. But why? I had just done something for me, something that is important, but I wasn’t walking with confidence and pride like I should have been. I made the assumption they all thought I looked awful. I realize now that as I was watching those people at the gym I was judging each of them in small ways. It was not always in a negative way, and maybe it’s more stereotyping or assumption based on the outside presentation of the people I saw. My judgement of them led to me feeling judged even though it’s completely possible no one gave a shit how I looked.
I believe we are all on our own path. We’re all entitled to shop for groceries in an ugly ponytail with no makeup. And we’re all entitled to workout in shorts if that’s how we’re comfortable. Just own it! If you’re working long days, getting the workout in, the shopping and all your adulting done and it means you look a mess out in public then own it and don’t feel ugly or ashamed. You just did all of that instead of laying on the couch binge watching Netflix. And being Beast on a Monday is worth bonus points! Be Proud whether you have the workout look or the night out look.
Daring To Do This 