Today was a true character building day. The type of day that throat punches your self esteem, tests your soul, and promotes the consumption of lots of alcohol and junk food. To be honest, IT SUCKED!! For a minute I wanted to say screw it and just run away. It was a weird mixture of wanting to cry, being pissed, feeling broken, and freaking out. I hope this paints the picture of its awfulness. BUT, here’s the thing, all the work I’ve been doing spiritually, emotionally and physically prepared me to handle it in a way I never could have a year ago.
On a day like this I realize how much I’ve grown and changed on so many different levels. I could have handled today in a number of ways. Cry. Bitch. Whine. Blame. Eat. Quit. Don’t get me wrong there was a moment when I did bitch, whine and blame. I did not cry or eat my way through it though. And I definitely didn’t quit. I stepped back, accepted responsibility for the situation and realized there is always a lesson in moments like this. I just need to figure out what the lesson is.
It was so comforting when I went naturally into this thought process. I had very little anxiety because I was focused on owning my role and identifying what the Universe was trying to show me. It didn’t take long to identify the lessons. Honestly it was something I had been avoiding. Sometimes I have to be kicked instead of nudged.
As little as two months ago a day like this would have had me debating whether I should go to the gym or skip it. Today I looked forward to it and knew a workout was exactly what I needed. The gym has become my happy place. I know no matter what weight is on my shoulders when I walk through the door if I give 100% when I’m there I will feel strong and accomplished when I walk back out the door.
I’m ending this character building day in a place of strength. I had a terrific workout and although I’ll be sore tomorrow I feel great. I didn’t eat my emotions, I may have snacked on them a little, but it’s improvement. And I have a generalized plan to tackle what the Universe has pointed out to me. It’s a good ending to a questionable beginning.
Daring To Do This 