Mother’s Day Epiphanies

Today was a beautiful day of smiles.  Nothing spectacular happened, but I had a good day.  I am a Mother to two sons and a Mimi to two grandsons.  Motherhood is possibly  the most rewarding and frustrating role in the history of mankind.  I would never change it, but it’s so unbelievably hard sometimes.  The emotions, the work, the times you want to fix ‘it’ and can’t.

The lead up to Mother’s Day has been a pretty stressful one on the Mom front.  Both of my boys have caused me to be totally unbearable at times and caused my blood pressure to be out of control.  I think this is possibly part of the reason the scale is stuck.  I know that sounds like an excuse, but I really do believe it’s playing a part.

My youngest son is about to graduate high school so I have been spending time going through pictures to prepare for his party in a few weeks.  Of course I found many pictures of him that made me smile, but I also found lots of me that caused a different reaction.  I found myself saying ‘Wow’ or ‘Oh’ or ‘How did I not see this?’, it was eye opening.  There are some pictures I literally cringed at.  I ultimately came away from the afternoon with a realization that I have been overweight for ALL of my adult life.

All the reminiscing made me think about what I missed during their childhoods by being overweight.  How many times did I skip doing activities with them so I could be physically lazy.  What did I miss doing with them because I knew I wasn’t capable and wouldn’t even try?  Even though I know I did a lot with them, it makes me sad and upset to think about how different their lives could have been if I took better care of myself.

The new me will be able to do adventures with my sons as adults.  I already have plans for kayak trips, hikes, exploring cities and many other things.  As for the grandsons I am looking forward to having the energy to do things with them and be an active part of their lives.  There are probably thousands of articles that talk about the sacrifice of motherhood, but if you sacrifice your health you are taking away your ability to really be there for your children.

Tomorrow is a new week.  Four more workouts to get in and maybe an extra day for cardio.  I am truly stronger every day!!!!